You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
