Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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