I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
