Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
How's work?
Spinning.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
