just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
