she woke up with a sticky ear
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
