He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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