I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
