Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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