Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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