So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
