Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize