Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
