Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
