shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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