Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize