We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
