We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
