Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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