I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
