Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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