Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
