Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
