Well douche your snatch and let's go!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
