ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
