so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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