dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
