I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
