She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
