you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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