Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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