Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
