I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
