My first STD was from a foam party
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
