I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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