do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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