I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
