it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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