im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
And then he peed in my hair
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