ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
