He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
