Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
