The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
