you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
