That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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