thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
