This girl is more easily done than said...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
