do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
