My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
