Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
