are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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