Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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