someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
