I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize