I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
