Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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