I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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