We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize